it's been a while no? almost 6 years.
how you doing? what's changed since then my 4 readers?
oh me? thank you for asking... but no yeah, everything's changed... but nothing's different at all
and let me go ahead and tell you absolutely nothing about it
do you know what is special about a 0.5mm mechanical pencil? in reverse order of importance
3, it's where i get the best handwriting with a pencil 2, 0.5mm >>>>> 0.7mm 1 -
the last one is for me to cherish, maybe next time.
But i can tell you something else, i've got one with me right now, but i won't use it.
i'm typing instead of writing with it. maybe i'm unssure if i want to write with it or feel the ache of writing with it.
how do you konw what you want to do, or more interestingly why you want to do it?
how does one do an intent check on themselves?
if i can't figure it out why i do certain things, despite being as honest as possbile. if it conflicts with what i believed, where does that leave me?
how does one deal with feeling beterayed by yourself? i'm not talking regret.
it's more like the one person you trusted lied to you, or you lied to them. you don't know which is which, nor if there's a difference at all.
is this about control? idk.
maybe feeling the ache is the same as writing with it, maybe it's something else completely.
and maybe that's what i'm afraid of
regardless, for today... imma type & crave for an orange cake